As we were acting ourselves we wanted the script to seem natural to us and hence only planned a rough gist of what was going to be said:
Sam: Who steals a government project, and hides it in this dump?
Yadash: Somebody stupid enough to steal a government project
Sam: What are we looking for anyway?
Yadash: Intel wont tell us, we don't have the clearance, that's what I've got the tracker for anyway
*Gets out tracker*
Yadash: It's just round here
Sam:Ok You ready?
*They both get out guns*
Yadash: Yeah
*Turn corner*
Sam: There's nothing here
Yadash: Tracker says there should be
Sam:Double check it's right
*Yadash checks*
Yadash: 'Da hell?,It's gone haywire
Sam: Somebody's messing with us
Sam: Come out
*Chris appears and kills Sam*
Yadash: Stop, I will shoot
Chris: Try me
*Chris gets shot at, before shooting Yadash*
This progressed into the final script on the day of the shoot, when we fine tuned it:
Sam: So you're telling me that this guy steals a top secret government project and hides it in a place like this?
Yadash: well if he's stupid enough to steal from us he's stupid enough to hide it here
Sam: How are we meant to know what to get if we don't know what it looks like?
Yadash: That's what I've got the tracker for
*Looks at tracker*
Yadash: Should be round this corner
Sam: Ok, get ready, we don't know what's round there remember
*They get out guns and turn corner*
Sam:There's nothing here
Yadash: tracker's definitely right
Sam: Double check
*Yadash checks tracker*
Yadash: Crap
Sam: What is it?
Yadash: Its gone haywire
Sam:Some one's messing with us
Sam: Come out, come out and we might not kill you
*Chris appears and kills Sam*
Yadash: Stop or I'll shoot
Chris: Try me
*Chris gets shot at before shooting Yadash*
Reasons why we thought the second version of the script was better:
- The start seems like it has flowed on from another conversation, making it seem as if the two characters had been talking before they enter the scene, as would make sense.
- It seems more conversational, the first script seemed like Sam was asking a continuous stream of questions and Yadash was giving pre thought of answers
- It flowed better and seemed more fluent
- The second one builds up more tension when turning the corner, as opposed to them just walking around the corner, the sharp turn allows them to turn in a way which seems professional.
